Doctor Who: Sleep No More

Rassmusen: 'I do hope you've enjoyed the show. I did try to make it exciting. All those scary bits. All those death defying scrapes, monsters, and a proper climax with a really big one at the end! Compulsive viewing.'

Occasionally an episode of television comes along which takes you completely by surprise. The format is so clever, the storytelling so off the wall, that you spend the whole episode riding a delirious wave of confusion, until an ending arrives so brilliant that it surpasses all expectation. 

Doctor Who: The Zygon Inversion (2)

Doctor: 'I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. You mean, you call this a war? This funny little thing? This is not a war! I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine. And when I close my eyes... I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight... till it burns your hand, and you say this... No one else will ever have to live like this! No one else will ever have to feel this pain! Not on my watch!'

Doctor Who: The Zygon Invasion (1)

Doctor: 'At ease. I'm the president of the world. I'm here to rescue people and generally establish happiness all over the place.'

It seems like only 357 days ago that I was bemoaning the loss of Osgood, in a scene so silly that you could have popped a red nose on it, draped it in a green wig, and called it Krusty. Let's face it: Osgood came to an uncharacteristically unintelligent end. Death by bananas! So I was overjoyed to hear that everyone's favourite Doctor fangirl would be returning. Pity they ruined the surprise by advertising it in virtually every press release from here to Timbuktu.

Doctor Who: The Woman Who Lived (2)

Me: 'Yes, it is me. What took you so long, old man?'

A Clara-less interlude with Arya Stark as Ashildr, Ashildr as Me, Me as the dandy highwayman, Scar from the Lion King as the villain, and Rufus Hound as Sam Swift, the womanising wobber (sic). Do they not know that panto season is still 5 weeks away?

Doctor Who: The Girl Who Died (1)

Doctor: 'No, no, not Vikings. I'm not in the mood for Vikings.'

This felt like the episode that 'Robot of Sherwood' should have been. It had the same vibe, with its medieval setting, its unrealistic village backdrop, its assortment of hats, and its humour quotient turned up several notches. Thankfully, it was lot less silly. The beards were less ridiculous, the dialogue wasn't as embarrassing, and the characterisation of both the Doctor and Clara was on point. After 'Mummy on the Orient Express' and 'Flatline', Jamie Mathieson is currently three for three.

Doctor Who: Before the Flood (2)

Doctor: 'I'll come back for you, I swear.'

When a cold open starts with the Doctor breaking the fourth wall and delivering a causal loop monologue, and ends with him jamming to his own theme music, you just know you're in for a treat. After last week's more linear story, tonight's offering deviated from the template in just about every way imaginable. It moved location, introduced a new villain, separated the Doctor and Clara, turned up the timey-wimey to ten, yet the result was exactly the same—another top class outing from the man touted by many as Moffat's natural successor.

Doctor Who: Under the Lake (1)

Doctor: 'My God, every time I think it couldn't get more extraordinary, it surprises me. It's impossible, I hate it, it's evil. It's astonishing, I want to kiss it to death.'

Despite doing some excellent work on Being Human, Toby Whithouse's success rate on Doctor Who has been patchier than the sixth Doctor's jacket. Although getting off to an incredible start with 'School Reunion', his later offerings ('The Vampires of Venice', 'A Town Called Mercy', etc.) utterly failed to set the Whoniverse alight. Yet tonight's episode was a thoroughly absorbing mix of base-under-siege goodness, ghostly goings-on, and nautical caperings, sat atop an unfolding narrative which although at times felt slower than we're used to, never felt boring.

Doctor Who: The Witch's Familiar (2)

Doctor: 'Admit it, you've all had this exact nightmare.'

After last week's cliffhanger, it was always going to be an uphill struggle to dig the story out of its proverbial hole. Obviously Missy and Clara couldn't be dead, and whilst Missy's anecdote about the Doctor escaping android assassins brought out the best in Clara—as she picked through the clues, made the correct deductions whilst hanging upside down, threatened to kill Missy, before finally stomping off pointy-stickless to save the Doctor—I'm not sure the rest of the episode allowed her to shine so brightly.

Doctor Who: The Magician's Apprentice (1)

Doctor: 'Davros made the Daleks. But who made Davros?'

Now that's how you do a cold open! Not only did it follow on seamlessly from 'The Doctor Meditates', it complemented the opening ambience of 'Genesis of the Daleks' perfectly, and dropped a gasp-inducing D-bomb on our shuddering craniums. The mastermind behind the Daleks is back—looking as ill as ever. Who'd have thought he'd be such a handsome looking kid? That Skaro air must really mess with your complexion... not to mention your hair follicles.

Doctor Who: Last Christmas

Clara: 'Every Christmas is last Christmas.'

This was an episode which benefited greatly from the media confusion surrounding it. The possibility of Jenna's departure transformed it into a tense tale of multiple fake-outs, and the more cognisant you were of the rumours, the more harrowing it was to watch. Unlucky for me, I believe any old horse shit... so I almost vomited from the stress.