Misfits: Episode Five

Sam: 'You're dumping me with a line from Spiderman?'

Sally spent most of tonight's episode trying to ingratiated herself with Simon. She took advantage of his loneliness, appealed to his sensitive nature, and in the end, gave him the attention he so desperately craved. He didn't stand a chance. It was a foregone conclusion that he'd fall for her. She even used her shygirl18 alias to dupe him into asking her out. Did she ever feel anything for him? Probably not—although, in hindsight, a few things did make me wonder.

Like how she made Simon look good in front of his neighbour. She didn't need to do that. Or the kissing. There are surely less intimate ways of getting information? How can you kiss a man you suspect of being complicit in the disappearance of your fiancée? And even after she'd found proof that the misfits did kill Tony, she couldn't bring herself to believe that Simon had been party to it. Was that all just part of the ruse? My mind tells me yes, but my heart says no. And then she smashed his head into that mirror. Okay, I guess my heart's an arsehole!

It was weird seeing Simon happy—he's usually so dour. Seeing him smile was a real shock to the system. Kudos to Iwan Rheon for making such a strange character so compelling. Simon was understandably enraptured by Sally. The pleasure he took in watching her eat, the way he watched her undress through a crack in the door (okay, so maybe that was a little pervy), the way he filmed her sleep (okay, that was definitely creepy)—what a shame it was all a lie. All Sally's ever wanted is to know the fate of her fiancée. Unfortunately, discovering the truth didn't really help, as she didn't live long enough to see justice done. Instead she became another body for the misfits to dispose of.

There was some nice continuity between tonight's episode and last week's. After being humiliated in Curtis' rewind, we learned that Simon went round his neighbour's house in a fit of rage, and tried to burn it down. If it hadn't been for a freaked-out cat, he'd probably have managed it, too. No wonder Sally laughed. The image of Simon dousing the flames by pissing through the letterbox is enough to make anyone chuckle. Even Simon. Eventually. God, it just looks so wrong when he smiles.

On a lighter note, Curtis made a right pig's ear out of trying to break up with Sam. It wasn't for lack of trying, nor was it for lack of excuses. He busted out all the classics: I've changed; I've got three months left to live; I'm impotent; you're fat. He even tried some unconventional ones... which I'd rather not repeat. In the end, it was a Spiderman quote which sealed the deal. ('No matter what I do, the ones I love will be the ones who pay'). Real classy. Surely he knows better than to listen to Nathan by now? At least Sam's now out of the picture—which frees Curtis up to have no sex whatsoever with Alisha. Yeah... good choice, Curtis.

It was honest of Curtis to tell Alisha about Sam. Not that it made any sense. I was so confused, I couldn't work out whether Curtis was to blame or not. Surely he must've have had some awareness that Sam was still his girlfriend? Except, Curtis seemed unsure whether he did or not. At least Alisha forgave him after hearing how he went back in time to save her. Time travel is such a cool power. If only he wasn't so rubbish at using it.

Nathan and Kelly ended up almost having a romantic moment tonight. Is it just me or did Kelly look quite chuffed with Nathan's compliment about her chicken nuggets being cooked to perfection? How can Kelly criticise Nathan for living on crisps and chocolate, and then feed him chicken nuggets? Surely they're only marginally more nutritious? Nathan didn't open up much about his private life, though. We know a little about his parents, but it would have been nice to see Nathan and Kelly really bond. You always get the feeling that something's about to happen between those two, and then Nathan opens his mouth and it's all off again.

The baby with powers sub-plot was ludicrous. Do babies really think in adult sentences, expressing wants and desires? A baby couldn't possibly know that Nathan was a prick—it made absolutely no sense at all—but like Keith the perverted dog (from episode one), it was played for laughs, and in that respect, it worked. Besides, Nathan really is a prick.

Other Thoughts:

—Nice bit of Damien Rice singing 'Delicate'. O is a great album.

—The poster Nathan removed from the wall was a nice foregleam of things to come.

—I'm not sure how many scenes of Curtis wiping his cock with a Kleenex I can stomach.

—Kelly's hair's grown back quick.

—Finally, Simon got some kudos from Curtis for pulling Sally. Now Simon and Curtis know something that Nathan doesn't know.

Quotes:

Nathan: 'Rough in the jungle, innit in the jungle. Rough in the jungle, innit in the jungle.'

Sally: 'He's such a twat. Sorry, that was really unprofessional.'
Simon: 'He is a twat.'

Nathan: 'We have outfoxed the fox, which makes us very bloody foxy.'

Alisha: 'How long have you been with her?'
Curtis: 'It's complicated.'

Alisha: 'Wait. Are you cheating on me with her or are you cheating on her with me?'

Curtis: 'Fit older woman. Heavy.'

Sally: 'You don't owe them anything.'
Simon: 'They're the only friends I've got.'

Curtis: 'No matter what I do, the ones I love will be the ones who pay.'
Sam: 'Is that from Spiderman?'

Sam: 'You're dumping me with a line from Spiderman?'