Misfits: Episode Two

Melissa: 'You have no idea what it feels like to be a woman.'

I was hoping that with Nathan gone, Howard Overman would spend more time rounding out the show’s characters, and tonight’s episode did just that. For Kelly, Simon and Alisha, community service has been something of a blessing: it’s given them a sense of purpose, some much needed self-worth, and a unique (if twisted) camaraderie. For Curtis, however, it’s been a real step backwards. Before his drugs conviction, he was the only misfit whose life wasn’t an unmitigated disaster. He was someone with real talent. He had a future. In short: he wasn’t a misfit at all.

I stand corrected over what I said last week about Curtis’ power being the worst ever. True, it’ll probably never save lives, but without it, Curtis would never have been able to put his failed athletics career behind him. Packing up his trophies was Curtis’ way of moving on. It wasn’t that he’d failed, he’d simply accepted the need to channel his energies in something more productive. Running was the only thing he was ever good at, and his confidence was grounded in his identity as an athlete. Without it he was a rootless tree. Yet his experience with Emma made him realise that perpetually mourning his failed past was turning him into a self-centred, seething pit of negativity. It was time to set his sights on a more achievable goal.

Curtis' weird superpower also gave him the opportunity to experience women from a completely new perspective. Despite being tall, dark and handsome, Curtis’ sexual prowess has evidently been somewhat lacking. Trust Alisha to give it to him straight. I loved watching her mimicking his technique. That was a pretty graphic demonstration of his inadequacies. Thankfully, his ability to change into Melissa, gave him an unprecedented opportunity to test his sexual chops—by trying them out on himself. Only on Misfits, right?

I really enjoyed Kehinde Fadipe's portrayal of Curtis. As well as looking physically similar to Nathan Stewart-Jarrett, her mannerisms and sullen glares were spot on. It was interesting, too, to see how vulnerable Curtis is when he’s Melissa. As a man, he's more than capable of handling himself—as Melissa, he was subjected to all manner of unwanted sexual attention. He was groped by Shaun, almost raped by Mark... I'm not sure what to call what Rudy did. Not exactly the sort of situations we'd expect to find Curtis in.

Is it coincidence that all three of our male misfits now have alter egos? Simon has Superhoodie as his arse-kicking other half, Rudy can split himself into two people, and Curtis has Melissa. Melissa explaining to Simon the intricacies of her/Curtis' relationship with Emma was my favourite moment of the episode. ('Are you a lesbian?') Even knowing what had transpired, the dialogue still took some wrapping your head around. Emma finding Melissa's dress, and then thinking the worst, was played out to maximum emotional and comedic effect, although the ending did catch me a little by surprise. I expected Curtis to bust in on Emma and Mark having sex, thus ruining any chance of a reconciliation. Instead, Curtis turned up barely in time to prevent a roofied Emma from being raped. Heavy stuff, indeed. Shame we didn't have Curtis' exposed tallywacker to lighten the mood second time round.

For the second week in a row, Rudy was gifted with the funniest lines. His 'for a bloke, you’ve got a lovely pussy' comment, could only have come from the pen of Howard Overman. Rudy truly is disgusting. Despite possessing Nathan’s say-what-you-think attitude, he has none of his natural charm—making his unappreciated sexual advances all the more inappropriate. I confess, I’m a little perplexed by Rudy at the moment. Nathan’s wicked humour and sleazy approach to life were linchpins of the show—they gave it its unique flavour, and excising them completely would've meant a significantly lesser show—yet transferring them into another character isn't quite working for me. It’s too easy to hear Nathan saying half of Rudy’s lines.

It looks as though Kelly will be getting a love interest this season: the enigmatic Seth. Let’s face it, anything has to be better than Nathan or a gorilla. Kelly's superpowers appear to stretch beyond the confines of rocket science. She was able to understand the electronics of a car engine just by looking at it, which suggests there’s a life outside of rocket science should she choose to pursue it—but who is Shannon Speers? Seth's ex-girlfriend? His sister? If only Kelly had the ability to see into the future. Maybe soon, though... especially now Seth owes her. I feel a power change coming on.

Despite being a weaker episode than last week’s in terms of action, this was a terrific character piece for Curtis. He hasn’t had an episode to himself since season one, and this was another strong outing in terms of his development. Last week was Rudy’s story, tonight it was Curtis’ turn, and next week looks set to revolve around Simon. If the trailer's anything to go by, it looks like a good 'un, too.

Other Thoughts:

—I guess there was some Karma involved in Melissa getting perved by Rudy whilst unconscious. Curtis did a similar thing to Kelly in season one—except, he went nowhere near as far.

—Where did Curtis learn all those girly dance moves?

—I found Melissa trying to pee into a sample bottle hilarious. It’s a precarious business when you’re a man—for a woman, the process must be a dozen times harder.

—Will Emma stick around, or was she a one episode deal only?

—Simon's ability to see into the future is evidently beyond his control. He doesn't get to choose what he sees. That's good to know.

—I counted a total of three absolute nightmares. Firstly, being told to your face that you’re crap in bed; secondly, menstrual blood leaking through a pair of pristine white pants; thirdly, finding out the girl you’re about to have sex with is actually a man.

—Did Rudy actually drink out of an ice bucket?

—I loved that Rudy went from showing concern, to kissing Melissa, to going down on her—all in the space of about three seconds. Did we really need to see him choking on one of her public hairs? About as much as we needed to see Curtis' todger, I suspect.

—How creepy was Shaun hitting on Melissa?

Quotes:

Rudy: 'The toilets are out of order.'
Melissa: 'So you piss in the sink?'
Rudy: 'Yeah, I was going to piss in, like, a bottle or the vending machine, but this seemed more civilised. I am not a complete caveman.'

Seth: 'What do you know about cars?'
Kelly: 'Well, I know about electronics, cos I’m a fucking rocket scientist, aren’t I?'

Melissa: 'Take your fucking hand off my arse, before I break it.'
Shaun: 'My mistake....lesbian!'

Rudy: 'Ho-ho-ho! That were brutal, weren't it? That were like watching someone fist a baby lamb. She just took a huge shit in your mouth.'

Rudy: 'I am definitely in there, mate. And the nice thing is, she's seen my cock, and she's still up for it. So...'
Kelly: 'How comes she's seen your cock?'
Rudy: 'She caught me pissing in the sink. It's all worked out very nicely.'

Simon: 'So who's with Emma?'
Melissa: 'No one! She thinks I’m fucking myself.'

Rudy: 'For a bloke, he’s got a lovely pussy.'

Kelly: 'I think you've got your period.'
Shaun: 'No one needs to see that.'

Curtis: 'You've never heard the saying "no means no"'?
Rudy: 'You didn't say no, you said, "suck my nipples"'.

Rudy: 'You never look a gift horse in the mouth, do you. That's one fine looking gift horse you've got there.'