Misfits: Episode Five

Sam: 'You're dumping me with a line from Spiderman?'

Sally spent most of tonight's episode trying to ingratiated herself with Simon. She took advantage of his loneliness, appealed to his sensitive nature, and in the end, gave him the attention he so desperately craved. He didn't stand a chance. It was a foregone conclusion that he'd fall for her. She even used her shygirl18 alias to dupe him into asking her out. Did she ever feel anything for him? Probably not—although, in hindsight, a few things did make me wonder.

Misfits: Episode Four

Nathan: 'Come on. Get in there, you beautiful bitch.'

Curtis saw an opportunity to turn his life around tonight. After an unexpected visit from Sam, he tried to use his powers to change the past, and predictably got more than he bargained for. Trying to alter time is a tricky business, and in the end it took him three attempts to get it right. Sadly, he killed virtually everyone in the process. Too many variables, see? Thankfully, Howard Overman resisted the urge to push the reset button. Well, almost. The misfits survived, but things are subtly changed in ways that Curtis should've, but didn't, foresee.

Misfits: Episode Three

Kelly: 'If you laugh at me, I will kick the shit out of you.'

Alisha used her powers for unscrupulous sexual gain tonight. Not that she needed to, I dare say she could've pulled without them, but it certainly dispenses with the formalities of drinks and a kebab.

Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol

Doctor: 'Tonight, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past.'

You've got to hand it to Steven Moffat—his first Christmas episode was an absolute blinder. It was exactly how a Christmas episode should be: it was different enough from a regular episode to justify its special status; it had regular companions (even if they were criminally underused); there was a strong Christmas theme; it had great celebrity guests; and there was an emotionally engaging narrative which both warmed and broke our hearts. In short, it was both Christmassy and special.

Misfits: Episode Two

Nathan: 'I'm not waiting around for Granny Fuck Me to make another appearance.'

In hindsight, it was probably a mistake to let the misfits loose at an OAP's tea-dance. None of them seemed particularly interested in dancing, in fact no one seemed to like pensioners at all; except of course Nathan, who ended up knobbing one of them. True, Ruth didn't look 82, but at least we now know that the misfits weren't the only ones affected by the storm.

Misfits: Episode One

Simon: 'What if we're meant to be, like, Superheroes?'

Misfits is most often described as an English Heroes, and it's a comparison not entirely undeserved. Its main characters do have superpowers, but Misfits is undeniably grittier than its American cousin. It has the same inner city grimness that made Skins such compelling viewing back in 2007, but what really sets it apart is its black humour. It's an acquired taste, certainly—the language is sometimes coarse, with sexual chit chat bordering on the excruciating—but it's this meld of seemingly disparate ingredients which makes it unique. There's nothing else quite like it.

Misfits: Episode Seven

Simon: 'I'm going to kill Jesus.'

This was the most messed-up nativity story I've ever seen. I can still see Nathan stamping on that afterbirth. Truly disgusting—and, of course, quite brilliant. No wonder E4 put out a gore warning before the episode aired, it was enough to traumatise anyone. Tonight's tale was something of a game changer as is saw the misfits trade in their existing powers for new ones. What they are we'll have to wait until next season to find out. I can't wait.

Misfits: Episode Six

Simon: 'When do I turn into this superhero?'

I love it when a seemingly innocuous episode suddenly goes bosoms up. We were treated to all manner of drama tonight, although it was obvious how it would all end. Curtis' lactose intolerance, coupled with his ability to turn back time, was always going to be key, but there were some intriguing twists along the way, some fascinating reveals, and some genuinely moving character pieces. Plus, virtually everyone ended up either dead or incapacitated. Which is exactly what you want from a penultimate episode—particularly if you're a masochist.

Holiday Gift Guide: Doctor Who, Misfits and Sherlock

In the spirit of Dickens' A Christmas Carol, I'm including gift ideas for all three of my shows in one post. Sherlock represents the Spirit of Christmas Past (because of its Victorian origins), Misfits the Spirit of Christmas Present (because it's presently airing on E4), and Doctor Who the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come (because the Christmas episode is yet to air).

Of course, the real reason I'm grouping them together, is that I didn't quite grasp the concept of 'one show at a time'. Which makes the above explanation nothing more than a ruse designed to hide my shame. I made a mistake, okay? I just hope nobody noticed.

Doctor Who:

—For those who don't already own it, Russell T. Davies' 'The Writers Tale: The Final Chapter' is a must have for any discerning Doctor Who fan. It's a collection of emails between Davies and journalist Benjamin Cook, documenting the writing process, script development, and ups and downs of being Showrunner. Davies is surprisingly candid about his achievements. He's sometimes immodest, occasionally self-deprecating, but you can always count on him to be honest.

—Not a fan of Matt Smith? Whilst you sit there, wallowing in your own disgustingness, you could always kick it old school and bust out one of Big Finish's audio adventures. Is your favourite Doctor still Colin Baker? Did you stop watching when Peter Davison hung up his cricketing box for good? Fear not, because both Doctors are still out there having adventures. New stories. Old companions. It's like they never went away. Let's hope they all team up for a 50th anniversary special, eh? It'll likely be dire, but imagine the fun we'll have.

—For those of us hit hard by the recession (i.e. the known universe), how about making some Doctor Who gifts yourself? You've heard the axiom about home-made gifts showing the most love, right? Well, it's not true—it means you're cheap. But since cheap is the new charitable, you might fancy taking a gander at the numerous Doctor Who craft ideas out there. There are patterns galore on the internet for crocheted Cybermen, macramé Daleks, and cloth Adipose. Yes, a few are embarrassing, but some you could conceivably give as a gift without it seeming like a slap in the face. You may even have fun—which let's face it, is what it's all about.

Misfits:

—Yes, I know I've only just started reviewing it, but the series boxed sets are so cheap at the moment, you'd have to be a right Scrooge to deprive your nearest and dearest of E4's latest foul mouthed sci-fi offering. Beware you don't accidentally buy The Misfits, starring Clark Gable. It's a good film, but nobody has superpowers, and nobody craps in anyone's bed.

Sherlock:

—Sherlock was the unexpected hit of 2009. The concept seemed dreadful, but it was so brilliantly realised and acted, that it totally worked. For those of you only recently acquainted with Holmes, there's a massive back catalogue of previous adaptations to choose from. The Ronald Howard (no, not the ginger one from Happy Days) boxed set is as rough as a roofer's glove, and should be avoided at all costs, but the Jeremy Brett boxed set is as cheap as chips and as good as any adaptation you're likely to see.

—The original Conan Doyle Stories are also bafflingly cheap. In fact, if you have a eReader, 'The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' is completely free. Even hard copies (that's books to you and me) of the full canon are just a few quid. A small price to pay for classic story telling.

—The BBC's audio adaptations (featuring Clive Merrison), are also worth a look (and listen). Merrison and Co. managed to record every story in the canon (and some that aren't). Ideal fodder for those cold winter evenings—when the powers of evil are exalted.

That's me done. Have a good one, folks!

Misfits - Episode Five

Nathan: 'Why's a gorilla wearing a gorilla costume?'

Maybe because Bruno's a monkey, with the ability to change into a human? Yeah, I know, technically he was a gorilla, but let's not go there. They sold us a double bluff tonight and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. The most obvious candidate for Nathan's mysterious killer was either Jessica or Bruno: Bruno because he clearly had anger issues (evidenced by the hearty banging he gave Kelly in the store cupboard); Jessica because, let's face it, she was just too adorable. Her interest in Simon was such an obvious set-up that she just had to be evil. Except she wasn't. She was an innocent, just like Simon.

Christmas Gift Ideas

In the spirit of Dickens' A Christmas Carol, I'm including gift ideas for all three of my shows in one post. Sherlock represents the Spirit of Christmas Past (because of its Victorian origins), Misfits the Spirit of Christmas Present (because it's presently airing on E4), and Doctor Who the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come (because the Christmas episode is yet to air).

Of course, the real reason I'm grouping them together, is that I didn't quite grasp the concept of "one show at a time." Which makes the above explanation nothing more than a ruse designed to hide my shame. I made a mistake, okay? I just hope nobody noticed.

Wait! I'm saying this in my head, right?

Misfits: Episode Four

Ollie: 'Has anyone got one of these weird powers?'

Ollie didn't last long. No sooner had we learned of his ability to teleport (and marvelled at his cool sandals), and he was dead. I half expected Curtis to turn back time and save him, but not this time. Which is a pity because I liked Ollie. It's just a shame he was never anything more than an organ donor. Still, at least Nikki got her new heart. Unfortunately, she's also inherited Ollie's terrible superpower: the ability to teleport just a few feet. I guess you take the rough with the smooth.

Misfits: Episode Three

Superhoodie: 'It's going to be all right. I should know. I'm from the future.'

Tonight's was an event filled episode. Nathan turned gay and fell in love with Simon; Curtis got stabbed with a knife made from ink; Simon almost choked to death; Kelly fell in love with Vince the tattoo artist; and Alisha fell in love with Superhoodie. So much shit was happening, it was hard to keep track. Alisha and Curtis' relationship also looks to be on the rocks. Presumably, this will free Curtis up to start seeing Nikki. Which means Curtis' flash-forward could come true sooner than we thought.

Misfits - Episode Two

Nathan: 'I see dead people.'

This episode started off slowly. Nathan's back-story, whilst not entirely surprising, offered an intriguing glimpse into his personal life. Greeting your Father with a punch in the face is pretty dysfunctional, and getting one back is downright abusive. Where this episode really caught fire (pun intended) was at the club. Curtis' altered power gifted us a fascinating peek into the future. How far into the future is anyone’s guess, but if that last minute reveal was anything to go by, it could be sooner than we think.

Misfits - Episode One

Kelly: 'Ah, you fucker!'

Tasteful dialogue with which to start a season, eh? This episode pretty much followed on from the season one finale: with Kelly mourning Nathan's death, Nathan indulging in a spot of onanism (whilst lying in his own shit), and Simon with a dead probation worker in the deep freeze. Only, now there's a new hero in town, and he seems to know all about the misfits. Who is Superhoodie? Does he have superpowers? Questions they'll hopefully address as the season progresses.